Physical Therapy Isn't For Alex
by DarthZ
Summary: Physical therapists don't like Alex, and Alex doesn't like them. There's a reason for that.


**This is a one-shot. Just thought I'd get that out there. It's kinda connected to Navy SEALs at Brecon Beacons (hint hint: go read that next) and it's about why physical therapists really don't like Alex.**

The last mission had been brutal. Alex had broken his leg, fractured his arm, dislocated his shoulder, and broken half a dozen ribs. It wasn't supposed to even be a dangerous mission. "Just surveillance, probably below your level," Blunt had said. And Alex had agreed. He had just wanted an easy mission to take some of the stress off and to just relax a little. Of course, surveillance meant he would have to pay attention, but he wouldn't have to do much physical action. He could just sit there and monitor the situation. But that was just what was _supposed_ to happen.

Instead, he discovered that his position was already being used by the people he was supposed to be monitoring. He had walked into the room and there were four men, big and intimidating, sitting in front of half a dozen computer screens, probably trying to monitor _him_. They hadn't heard him come in and Alex tried to back out quietly, but he tripped over a cord and unplugged one of the computers. As soon as the screen blinked off, all the men turned and pulled out several very dangerous looking weapons.

The fight that followed saw one of the men getting thrown out a window, Alex getting hit in the chest with a crowbar, Alex getting pistol-whipped, another two men getting electrocuted (water and electrical outlets don't mix; it's a safety hazard), and Alex getting thrown out the same window the first man had fallen out of. He landed on top of the man, and when he made a sound, Alex brought his elbow down on the man's stomach.

"Ow." Alex groaned. He tried to push himself up, but his left arm wouldn't move. When he tried the same maneuver with his other arm, the pain made it give out on him and he slammed back down to the dumpster he had landed on. "That's going to leave a mark."

A phone started ringing somewhere, but stopped after three rings. Alex wondered where it had come from when he realized that it was his. "Dang. I'm in trouble." Two minutes later, two black army Hummers showed up outside the building he was supposed to be in. What looked like about twelve soldiers spilled out of the vehicles, and they proceeded to kick open the door to the building, without even glancing down the alley beside it.

Alex tried to push himself off the dumpster with his leg, but the action sent pain flaring through it. He yelped and the noise alerted the soldier standing guard at the door of the building he was supposed to be in. The soldier called the men upstairs and went around to check the alley. He had apparently been told who he was not allowed to shoot, because when the soldier called him, he ran over. He didn't walk, he _ran_. Someone had told him about Alex's habit of getting injured.

"Are you alright, Alex?" The voice startled him, and so did the words. The voice sounded familiar, and the words were worried. Out of habit, Alex nodded. "Then you can walk on your own to the car?"

_Crap_. The person was Ben. That explained how he knew about Alex's "very annoying habit" of pretending to not be injured. It would also explain how he knew who Alex was. Ben was one of about five people that knew who he was, and he wasn't afraid to push for what he felt was best for Alex.

"Hi, Ben. As a matter of fact, I can't walk to the car. My leg is very conveniently broken." This statement caused Ben to walk over to Alex and pick him up. When Alex gasped at Ben picking him up, Ben pulled up his shirt.

"Alex, what on Earth did you do?"

"Maybe a better question would be what didn't I do. I didn't get shot. Again."

"You realize you're going to need physical therapy after you get out of the hospital this time, right? And I'm going to make sure you actually make an appointment this time."

"Crap."

**Don't mind me, I'm a page break.**

"Where is Alex Rider? He's late." The therapist, Dennis Townsend, was complaining to his secretary. His physical therapy center was one of the best in the country and each and every one of their patients had shown up _on time_ for every single appointment. With the exception of Alex Rider. Doctor Townsend had no idea who Alex Rider was, but he had heard some stories from other physical therapists. He was _difficult_. That was the general consensus of all of them. But Doctor Townsend wasn't worried. He had dealt with numerous people, many with ridiculous injuries. Alex Rider wasn't going to be any different than them. Except, Alex Rider had more injuries at one time than he had ever seen.

"He's—" The secretary began.

"Yeah, I'm here. He can see that. Thank you for showing me two feet through the door." A boy was sitting in front of him now. The boy looked to be about seventeen or eighteen, but the medical file he had been given said he was fifteen.

"Alex Rider? You're late."

"I'm so _terribly_ sorry about that. You see, I'd much rather not be here. I don't need PT." Doctor Townsend jerked back. The other therapists had been right. Alex Rider was going to be a difficult patient, but not impossible.

"Well, now that you're here, we can go over your injuries. What exactly did you injure?" The doctor inquired.

"Dislocated shoulder, fractured arm, broken leg, broken ribs." Alex said, matter-of-factly. That was exactly what the file had said, but Doctor Townsend wanted to be sure Alex didn't hide any of them.

"I guess we have our work cut out for us, then. Follow me." Doctor Townsend smiled and got up, Alex following. The doctor led the way to a large open room that was loaded with exercising equipment.

"Actually, I have to go to the restroom first." Alex said, eager to get away from the therapist that obviously didn't see that Alex clearly didn't want to be there.

"Alright. It's around the corner. Hurry back so we can get started." Doctor Townsend called as Alex walked off. Taking note of Alex's walk, he thought it was strange that Alex was able to walk without help, much less without much of a limp. _He's a strange boy._

**Don't mind me, I'm a page break.**

"Ben, get me out of here. NOW!" Alex hadn't actually needed to go to the restroom; he had needed to call Ben to get him. There was no way he was going to spend two fricking hours with that therapist. He would go crazy. He had already been told he wasn't allowed to come back to three different PT centers, so this would be just another name to add to the list.

"Alex, you need PT. You—" Ben began, but Alex cut him off.

"What I _need_, Ben, is to get the heck out of here! I'm going to go crazy with this guy." Alex yelled, which probably sounded a little strange coming out of a restroom. Someone knocked on the door and Alex called out, "Just a minute!"

"It's not that, sir. I just wanted to tell you that you need to lower the volume of your voice. It's disturbing the other patients." So his yelling was getting on their nerves? Fine. Alex was stressed and he didn't want to be there. Anything to get himself kicked out again.

"Alex? What was that?" Ben asked from the phone. Alex had forgotten that he was still holding the phone, and answered him.

"It's some doctor therapist person that THINKS I'M BEING TOO LOUD!" Alex wanted the person outside the door to hear him and he succeeded. Alex hung up so that Ben couldn't hear him getting himself kicked out.

"Sir, could you please finish and come out of the restroom!" The doctor person was obviously getting annoyed with Alex, so he took it one step further.

"I'M NOT DONE YET!" Alex yelled. The doctor would probably think that he had anger problems, but if it would get him out of the PT center, he would do it.

"Sir! I am going to have to ask you to exit the restroom!" Alex smirked. Did the man know he was quoting Iron Man, or more specifically, Nick Fury?

"Actually, I'm rather content here." Alex could almost hear the doctor grating his head against a cheese grater. It sounded painful, and Alex was proud or it.

"SIR! You are going to have to leave! Please come out before I come in and drag you out!" The doctor had lost all sense of professionalism. He was mad, and that made Alex happy: it meant he could leave.

"Alright, alright! I'm coming! Don't have a cow." Alex mumbled and unlocked the door. It turned out the doctor he had been yelling at had been Doctor Townsend, and his face was cherry red. Alex was definitely getting kicked out.

"Alex! I-what-who-why?" Doctor Townsend stuttered. He hadn't thought a teenager could be so disrespectful. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to kick you out, Alex. You're just too disruptive."

"Yippee!" Alex sang as he skipped out the door, leaving a fuming Doctor Townsend in his wake. Alex pulled out his phone to call Ben. "Hey, Ben? I need you to come get me. They kicked me out."

**So, what'd you think? I've been told by a few people that they had some trouble reading it because they were too busy laughing. There will be another one-shot coming and there'll be a sequel to Navy SEALs at Brecon Beacons. Please tell me what you think! :)**


End file.
